Just Another Abnormal Day
by Lunar Hikari
Summary: What do you get when you have 2 hyper teenagers with nothing to do? This fanfic! DGM crack fic. Oneshot. XD R&R Please!


**LH: Okay, this fic is actually made up of a couple of edited emails. The underlined parts are the parts where either me or Neko is talking. K?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own DGM, but I do own Koneko (Neko-chan) who is my fan Exorcist! **

**LH: First off, Neko-chan is a parasitic type who basically looks like a little girl (at around 4 foot 5 inches when you include her ears and boots) who has cat ears and a cat tail. Her left eye is green, her right blue. Now to the story!**

LH: Hey Neko, what's your favorite DGM pairing?

Neko: hmm... that would be... Koneko and Kanda. You know, your person, Neko-chan.

LH: But Kanda is five years older than her and her ears aren't even as tall as his shoulder! O_o

Neko: But they would be cute together! This is what would happen...

"STRING!" Koneko yelled, as she ran up to play with Kanda's ponytail.

"I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!" Kanda attempted to attack Koneko, but couldn't get Mugen out of its sheath.

"YAAAAAAYY!!!" Neko-chan yelled.

LH: Well... then this would happen!

Koneko glomped Kanda in his confusion and started to braid his ponytail. She was so proud that she had finally mastered the art of braiding after all the hours of training Lavi put her through.

Kanda finally managed to get Mugen out of its sheath (_Someone_ had thought it would be funny to wrap the hilt in tape and make it almost impossible to get out) and attempted to kill Koneko.

Koneko seeing Kanda chasing her yelled, "WHEEEEEEEEEE!" And ran off, convinced that they were playing tag.

Neko: Next this.

Allen was walking, on his way to the cafeteria for lunch.

Suddenly Koneko came running past him yelling, "TOUCHDOWN! GOAL! SCORE!" With a ridiculously happy face on.

Allen thought about what had just happened for a second, before continuing on his way.

Kanda came running past, Mugen unsheathed and looking quite homicidal, "I'LL KILL YOU!"

_Was his hair braided?! ...Oh, well... doesn't affect me..._ Allen thought before continuing, unperturbed, on his way.

Lenalee suddenly ran past, with Komui close on her heels.

"LLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEENNNNNNAAAAALLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! DON'T GET MMMMMAAAARRRRIEEEDDD!!!!" Komui wailed as he followed Lenalee.

"WHY IS THAT THE ONLY WAY TO WAKE YOU UP?!?!?!" Lenalee retorted, speeding up in an attempt to outrun her overprotective big brother.

_Huh, pretty calm today..._ Allen thought off-handedly.

LH: continuing...

Koneko and Kanda suddenly came back into view, and Koneko was... forcing Kanda to give her a piggyback ride?!

"Yay! Faster! Faster-nya~" Koneko was EXTREMELY happy.

Kanda seemed to want to say a lot of things, but could only mumble, "If I could get this bridle off, or figure out how you managed to get it and a saddle on me in the first place..." He trailed off threateningly, shooting death glares at anyone and anything around.

Lavi suddenly popped up, "Awww... no one told me that Yuu-chan was giving piggyback rides..." he whined.

_Ok, Now this is getting ridiculous_ Allen thought, quite annoyed that his lunch was getting delayed for this.

Explosions could be heard in the background, Where they were coming from was unclear.

Komui could be heard yelling above the explosions, "I WILL ELIMINATE ANYONE THAT YOU COULD POSSIBLY BE GETTING MARRIED TO-Gah!" Lenalee came walking past, dragging Komui's unconscious body behind her, heading towards the Medical Ward.

Allen ran for the relative safety of the cafeteria.

Neko: continuation...

Komurin 88 suddenly warped in from the future (because apparently it can do that...) and started dancing the disco.

Bookman suddenly appeared, and Komurin started attempting to smash him, as it was apparently allergic to pandas. After the third attempt it blew up.

Once the smoke cleared, Koneko was visible. She was busy playing with Kanda's hourglass, and was ignoring everyone.

--In the cafeteria--

Allen was sitting in front of a LITERAL mountain of food. It rivaled the height of the mountain that the original HQ was situated on.

--A sign appears with the words "3 SEC LATER"--

The mountain was gone and all that remained was Allen, with a toothpick.

Neko: Too tired to keep writing... your turn.

LH: Ok!

Komurin 4 reappeared from wherever it went after it first showed up and attempted to cook Allen. Again.

Allen groaned, "Not again!" He then ran like heck, only to get hopelessly lost.

Koneko walked into the cafeteria, no longer holding the hourglass, and blinked, "Hey! Where'd Kan-chan go?"

Kanda was busy attempting to sneak away without Koneko noticing him, until...

"Neko-chan! Yuu-chan is righhhhhhhhhhht there." Lavi pointed towards Kanda. Kanda gave him the finger.

Koneko turned to Lavi, "Lav-kun? What does this mean?" She gave him the finger.

Kanda made his escape while Koneko was busy watching Lavi die of laughter, her tail twitching in impatience.

LH: your turn

Neko: does Lavi literally die? ...I'm going with yes...

Lavi's soul slowly floated up, until Bookman showed up and shoved Lavi back into his body with needles. (Neko: yay needles)

Koneko got sidetracked by a piece of string and followed it to the recently installed auditorium. She then ran up on stage in front of everyone (except Kanda who is long gone at this point) and flicked them off while saying, "What does this mean... I-" She was cut off when everyone else died of laughter, as Komui was just informing them of the strict punishments for "bad behavior".

Bookman then showed up (in panda form)

"Sigh... Come on Lavi..." They then forced everyone's souls back into their bodies. Bookman was once again using his needles, while Lavi was treating it like "Whack-a-Mole" and hitting them with his hammer. Unfortunately, Miranda walked in and accidentally used Time Record to time warp all of the souls back out. Bookman sighed in irritation.

When Miranda heard Bookman sigh, Miranda yelled, I'M SORRY!!!!!" And ran off and hugged her clock. Yes, she now has both Time Record and a clock. She got lonely, so she bought a clock. ...yeah...

Koneko was still VERY confused, and still holding her finger up.

Neko: your turn.

LH: -insane laughter- XD

"Neko-chan," Lavi started, but was interrupted.

"What does this mean? You never answered me..." Koneko once again gave Lavi the finger.

Bookman forced Lavi's soul back in then went back to returning the souls that Miranda mistakenly freed.

Neko-chan looked very confused about why people kept dying whenever she asked them a question. She REALLY wanted to know what that finger meant...

Lavi wiped tears from his eyes after he finished laughing, "Neko-chan, you can't do that. It's... bad. Rude. Um... just... don't do it or... Yuu-chan will cut off all of your hair! And his ponytail! Which means you can't play with them anymore!"

Neko-chan gasped in horror, she couldn't imagine a world where Kan-chan didn't have a ponytail! Or where she didn't have pigtails! "I won't! I won't! I promise!" She ran off shouting something about destroying every pair of scissors in the Order and then confiscating Mugen so that Kanda couldn't carry through with Lavi's threat.

Lavi laughed quietly, " It's hard to believe that she's really 13... She acts like she could actually be around 5!"

"It's going to be a VERY long day... I can just tell..." Bookman grumbled, still returning the souls.

LH: Your turn! Unless it's done... I can't tell...

Neko: not done. General Cross hasn't appeared yet.

Cross suddenly walked in, "Baka Deshi," (stupid apprentice) then walked away, muttering something about needing booze...

Neko: Okay now it's done.

**LH: yeah... that's what you get when you spend about four hours emailing someone and neither one of you has anything (interesting) to do... ^-^U and all that from one question... O_o **

**Koneko: Review Please-nya~**


End file.
